Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
