Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
