I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
