I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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