I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
