Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
