I just pynch a tree in the face
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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