Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
