Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
