So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
