They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize