I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
