please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
