i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
