can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
