woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
