Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
