Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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