My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
