he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
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