they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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