And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
