I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
