There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize