maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
