this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
