There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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