Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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