Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
