my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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