Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Randomize
