Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
