At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
