Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize