Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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