there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
