Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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