Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
