When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i came on her dog
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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