I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
