Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
