yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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