You can't special order awesome
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
