I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
