At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
