Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
