i jhust puked up my retainher.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
