did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
