Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
foreskin is a definite game changer
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
