She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
