Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
