super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
