Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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