Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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