Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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