I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
