yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
