I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
