well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
