so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
