So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
