YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
