oh god the rape fog is back!
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
