i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
