So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Found your dick twin last night
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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