THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
i think im in europe. pls send help
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
