Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
