One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
